30 April 2011

yeah, you really got me goin'
You got me so I don't know what I'm doin', now
Yeah, you really got me now
You got me so I can't sleep at night.





That Saturday morning dream was really overwhelming... there were actually two, one after another. Although it should rather be a nightmare, I’m afraid.

20 April 2011



You feel me
away far too empty, oh so alone!
I want to go home
Oh find me inside of a nocturne - the blonde
how I love you to be by my side
they wail...
the crowd on her side
she straggled the bridge by the water...

She misses her crawl
far ley grew
heady aside in a dell
inside an eye be the lonely one, my bride
how I leave on the waddling wheel
they flail...
a gasp shringing
a bad bell's ringing
the angel - the daughter...

You feel me

away far too empty, oh so alone!
I want to go home
Oh find me inside of a nocturne - the blonde
how I love you to be by my side
they wail,
the crowd on her side
she straggled the bridge by the water.. 















from one of my favourite books ever.

19 April 2011

No hay día en ke no me levante sin decir "Quiero ser como Bob Dylan"

18 April 2011

Chapter 2

Jurien could feel her as she winded round the bend and it was as if she were on his heels. She was the light and he feared her, yet she meant him no harm. He stopped and yelled to it as if it could respond.
 “Why must you torment me when I run through your forest?”
His dark eyes shined a deep crisp brown in the misty, heady night. He heard a giggle and then he drew in a deep breath on the quick and looked all around for her.
“Where?!” 
He took a second glance around him.




“I am in the forest it is true, but it does not belong to me. Do you not enjoy its splendor?”
“I have not noticed, spirit. Take me to my lair; I am far from there and I would be so appreciative if you would guide me before I am found here."




The light of the Helen was quiet but she illuminated the night so that he could pass his way to his fortress unharmed. He crossed the waters without incident as he looked all around for her. He longed to see her. Like his brother he too missed their Mother but would not speak of such things, for he was to be feared by all and his heart was to remain dark and never seen… but he knew she saw him.









He knew she was the one who would come for him in the end and he knew… he felt… something forbidden for her. It was forbidden in this world to love, for the reason they all existed was to procreate and they knew it. There was to be no time for affection or any type of love, no not in this harsh world. It would be a curse to fall in love and have someone take them from you in the dead of 
night after the offering of flesh.

But Jurien was thinking of a plan to make the light fall for him. He wanted to capture her heart and her light forever. She would live in the house of his reign, therefore it would be complete…  






Jurien sneered and got up from the chair in insult.
“Love! Who said anything about fucking love?
There is no love, Haydan, it is dedication! It is 
numbers!












remember that as well!One can love a dog! I need no dog at my feet when I need a woman there between my knees! Haydan, you would do best to see things my way! I am not the man who walks beside you, my brother, and you had best remember that as well!
  

Where is your throne, Haydan? You will never have one – you are of the sun and here you sit and hide in the darkness like a coward! She is dead, Jurien, our Mother is dead!”


Jurien stopped talking and grew fierce as he walked about the room turning things over, ransacking it.

“What are you looking for, Jurien?’
He knew what it was…
“Where is it, Haydan?” He screamed at his brother and he persisted on his quest, turning things over and breaking things in his path. A simple wave of his hand made things scatter, move and tumble to certain destruction. “ Where the fuck is it, Haydan, it is forbidden to have it in your possession and it can not exist where I am!”
“It is just a book, Jurien, and it does not exist. Have you read it?”
Haydan picked up his head but was careful not to look into his brother´s eyes. Jurien ran a nervous hand through his hair and he was perplexed and weakened by the possession of 
this great old dusty book.
“No, I will no read it. It is of many tongues and many voices and many souls. I can not read it. It is time I leave; do not come up now, wait until the sun is high and you should be seen. I will tell mine you are traveling. Wear your protection.”
“I will not travel to you, Jurien. I have no desire to visit your grey fortress and no desire to attend your flesh offerings.”
Jurien looked up in his brother´s direction and then looked away.
“Then I shall take my leave and leave you here among the ruins you call a life. Leave you to your own devices here to be damned and alone to wait for the Goddess of the Moon to heal and quench you. I spit on you, my worthless sibling who can not follow in my reign.”
Jurien annoyedly walked out and down the path of condensating mist into the darkness of 
night.













Haydan walked over to a shelf in the corner of the wall and pulled out some books, the one behind the others was the one in question that his brother held in so much fear.
 






Haydan looked at it and smiled; he remembered his Mother reading stories from it and he liked what she had read. He could hear her voice now and it was serene, warm as the sun, and it made him smile.

Chapter 1

The rain did not wash the stare from his eyes, and his walk was of the austere as he headed down the alleyway towards his lair in the depths of a vast cavernous well. It has been dry for many years and only now the rain that falls is not that of the acidic kind. This is what is left of the great decline of the great Christian times. He is not evil, he is not holy, nor is he of aristocratic status – there are none of those left. It is now survival of the fittest and he is fit and shrewd beyond his years. His deep brown eyes contain a glitter that can cool many a lonely night, as night sweats with that of condensated fear – fear from anything that can occur in a world gone mad.

 It is known that his Mother bore him out of fire and she had the heart of a Red Dragon.
He uses her Aura when he needs a fix of the physical pleasures, and he needs them often. It is his walk that attracts them, it is his walk that makes him sought after and they are in his bed in a moment´s glance. He does not call them lovers, he does not call them conquests, they are his followers and they sit at his feet waiting for him to send his eyes their way. They come from many families and come from far and wide to grace him with their pleasures. They come of a forgotten Christian world, and Christian God, for him – to be in his salacious glances and with him in the joining of the flesh.

He walked into his lair and was pleased to be alone, as he would be able to dream; to dream of his Mother, the Red Dragon, and to feel of her and her scent. She came to him in times of wonderment and in times of strife and in times of cold heartache. He fell onto the bed, a bed he was given by a lonely woman who would give him her pleasure for only one night, to bear him a son, but she was murdered that very night post the exchanging of the flesh.




Haydan was a quiet man, a thinker, and no woman could see his thoughts. No one could see his torment, or his real and true need.


He was alone in this world of turmoil and grew more perplexed why he felt this way. He had many here to keep him in pleasure and much of the material to keep him in comfort, as well. He looked around at all the gifts that adorned his lair; there were rugs of tapestry, blankets and curtains in many hues of red. They were bestowed upon him with passion and he gave them a smile and a touch of his hand to their cheek. It would never erase from their hearts for Haydan was an easy man on the eyes. He was of the nighttime sensual kind with his smile and those velvet dark eyes. They wished to win his heart with their gifts and they wished him to 
become theirs… Beyond the Moon…


 






He lay his heavy heart down on a pillow and stared at the concrete wall as he wondered where he might find her – the woman to withstand all the fighting and the woman who bears 
his light.

 





He wondered, as his eyes grew heavy with slumbered attraction and retreat…
It is in a forest of the green he could find her, he could smell her scent… it was of the pines. 








He could feel her and hear her laughter there. He chased after her but where was she? Where was the Helen in the night? The great Light of Elijah that had forsaken him and mocks him in his dreams, it dangles her now to him… 



 
where is she? Where is she, the Helen that would guide him as his beacon from her very soul? His soul was not that of a mortal and he knew this made him in fear for her life. He was afraid she would awaken and be afraid of the sun and of the water. This is what controls inner peace, of which he is not permitted.






Haydan catches a glimpse of her gown and it is in the shade of light. He is in awe of her, in great excitement and loss of breath when she is near. 












Only when he slept did he see such a creature… but did he see her at all?


Haydan awoke with a jolt, as the alarm bells were sounding.








He knew he must go to the path to see who it would be coming calling in the dead of night, but he already knew. He could feel him there for it was fear personified: it was Jurien, his half brother and he was feared by many.



Jurien was born of the waters and he was as unforgiving as a tempestuous force to never be reckoned with. He was tall in stature and long on words with bite.
His skin was olive-tinged and his eyes were black as the night. His hair was that of long waves and when he walked it became his calling. Women feared him and they knew he would devour them on sight, and drown they did. He was a very learned young man of many faces and of many tongues. He invaded the library ruins on a frequent basis, was self-taught and so were those who wandered around with him.
His brother Haydan knew why he had come but he stood aside the open pathway and sighed with his hooded head down.


“Jurien how are you and welcome to my well.
What is it you ask of me today?”
Haydan never looked into his brother´s eyes for he knew if he did he would see the thousands there suffering inside. Jurien walked into the room as if he owned it. He looked all around and smiled as he kicked one of the blankets on the large velvet covered dinning room captain´s chair that was placed in front of the head of an unmatching black table. Jurien looked at his brother in beguilement and mockery.
“Tell me brother, are there seeds planted in your garden for procreation´s sake? And when will the seed be yours to conquer this realm?”
“I do not mean to take the children from them, Jurien. If they become with child it is theirs to keep and not mine to run with.” His head remained down and not only did he know his brother´s eyes, he knew Jurien knew his mind too.
“You would be happier, my brother, if you partook on the flesh as an offering instead of a ridiculous comforting ritual. Our Mother is dead, Haydan, when are you going to realize that and stop all this dreaming of a woman who will come from the Moon to whisk you up out into the open air into the sun?” Jurien´s words mocked Haydan as he laughed and flailed an arm into the open air in contempt.
“I come from the sun, Jurien. She can not grant me peace or absolution. I must make my own peace.”
“I know that and many can help you along the way, little brother, many can help you along the way. Stop this frivolous celestial soul search and come out, come up onto the surface where it is warm and be among the living.”
“The living? Is that what you are calling it now, Jurien? I am sorry, I do not make people be with me. I do not spend my time getting into people´s heads and making them love me.”