I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday, I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
'Cause you're evil And you lie, And if you should die, I may feel slightly sad But I won't cry.
Loved and lost And some may say..When usually it's Nothing Surely you're happy, It should be this way ?
I say "No, I'm gonna kill your dog", And : "May the lines sag, may the lines sag heavy and deep tonight"

I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday, I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
'Cause you're evil And you lie, And if you should die, I may feel slightly sad But I won't cry.
Loved and lost, And some may say ..When usually it's Nothing Surely you're happy, It should be this way ?
I said "No" And then I shot myself ..So, drink, drink, drink And be ill tonight.